So. Let’s talk about Aegon Targaryen—the guy who rolled up with dragons, two wives, and a shiny dream of uniting a very stabby, very feudal Westeros. If you thought Game of Thrones was wild, wait till you hear what grandpappy Aegon was cookin’ up back in the day. Spoiler: it involved fire. Lots of fire. And a throne so uncomfortable, even chiropractors wouldn’t go near it.
Honestly, if he were around today, he’d probably be running a weirdly intense startup called “IronUnity” and pitching dragon-powered blockchain solutions.
But let’s rewind.
The Before Times: Baby Aegon and Volcanic Upbringings
Aegon Targaryen wasn’t born in Westeros. Nope. Our boy popped out in Valyria, that hot, magical murder continent that basically exploded one Tuesday morning and ruined everyone’s housing market. His fam, the Targaryens, dipped out early and set up camp on Dragonstone. Smart move.
They were dragonlords—think elite magical pilots with a fire-breathing Tesla under the hood. And unlike most folks, Aegon didn’t seem super into just hanging out roasting sheep with his pet Balerion. He had… bigger ideas.
I mean, I can’t even organize my garage, and this dude looked across an entire continent and said, “Yeah. That’s mine.”
The Dream (Or Maybe the Plot Twist)
Here’s where it gets kinda weird. Some stories say Aegon Targaryen had this prophetic dream. Like, “Unite the kingdoms or everyone’s toast” kind of dream. It involved the White Walkers, winter, doom, etc. Y’know, the usual bedtime horror.
Was it real? A clever PR move? Or maybe he just had indigestion from too much dragon jerky?
Either way, I kinda respect the hustle. Turn a dream into a full-scale military campaign? That’s startup founder energy right there.
Conquest Time: Fire, Blood, and Sibling Romance (Yikes)
Let’s get the awkward part outta the way. He married both his sisters—Visenya (sharp as a blade) and Rhaenys (charmer, rider of Meraxes, part-time poet maybe?). I mean, Targaryens stayed on-brand with that whole keep-the-bloodline-pure thing. Weird flex, but okay.
Anyway, Aegon, Visenya, and Rhaenys launched the Conquest with their dragons. Westeros? Not ready.
Key Battles (aka, oops, you got toasted):
- Field of Fire: Imagine a barbecue, except it’s your entire army.
- The Last Storm: Aegon’s buddy Orys Baratheon handles business. Argilac the Arrogant? Not so arrogant after that.
- Oldtown: The High Septon straight-up bent the knee. Not even a fight. Honestly? Respect.
It took, like, 2 years. Maybe 3. That’s faster than my local post office fixes a lost package.
The Iron Throne: Comfy? Nope. Iconic? Absolutely.
Here’s a mental image for ya: Aegon Targaryen gathers up a thousand swords from enemies he cooked alive, melts them with dragon fire, and says, “Cool. That’s my chair now.” The Iron Throne wasn’t meant for lounging. It was sharp, uncomfortable, and full of tetanus risk.
He set up shop at King’s Landing, a swampy spot that eventually became the capital. Why? Because conquest is exhausting and Balerion probably needed a beach day.
Anyway, that throne? It became the power symbol. Everyone wanted it. Few survived it.
Not Just a War Guy: Aegon’s Surprisingly Chill Policies
So here’s the twist: once the killing stopped, Aegon Targaryen turned out to be… a pretty solid king.
He let the old lords keep their lands (just made ‘em swear fealty). Smart. Unified laws, coinage, roads—you name it. Didn’t just burn stuff and bounce.
My favorite bit? He formed the Kingsguard—knights sworn to protect the king with their lives. Visenya came up with it after someone almost shanked him. Classic sister move: “You need bodyguards or I swear I’ll do it myself.”
Rhaenys, Visenya, and the OG Poly Power Squad
Let’s talk about the sisters, because they weren’t just eye candy on dragons.
- Rhaenys: Lighthearted, fun, loved music, talked to commoners. (She’s the one I’d want to split a wine bottle with.)
- Visenya: Stoic, tough, wielded Dark Sister (coolest sword name ever). Less “Let’s party” and more “I will end you.”
Together, they balanced Aegon Targaryen out. Like, if he was the hammer, they were the whetstone and the harp.
Until Rhaenys died in Dorne.
Yeah. That one hurt.
Dorne: The One That Got Away
Aegon Targaryen tried to conquer Dorne. Repeatedly. Failed. Repeatedly. It was like trying to swat a mosquito with a sword made of spaghetti.
They didn’t play by Westeros rules. They disappeared into the sand, hit and ran, refused to bend. Rhaenys died in one of these attempts—some say in Hellholt, others say skyfall accident. Either way: ouch.
Eventually, Aegon gave up. Dorne stayed independent for years. I admire that. Like, the “nope” energy was STRONG with them.
Legacy Time: The Dragon Family Tree Begins
Aegon Targaryen passed the crown to his son Aenys. (Yeah, I always read that as “Anus” too—blame my middle-school brain.)
Anyway, from there the Targaryen dynasty spiraled into 17 flavors of madness and fire. But Aegon? He set the rules:
- Only Targaryens marry Targaryens.
- The Iron Throne must never be split.
- Dragons = leverage. Use wisely or lose spectacularly.
From Maegor the Cruel to Daenerys, they all looked back at Aegon Targaryen and tried to measure up.
Spoiler: Most didn’t.
Ghost of the Throne: Echoes in Game of Thrones
The show dropped his name like it was on sale at Hot Topic.
- Daenerys = his descendant.
- Jon Snow? Also named Aegon Targaryen. Because apparently one name wasn’t enough for seven kingdoms.
- The Iron Throne? Still hot real estate.
Even the dream—A Song of Ice and Fire—was tied to him. Kinda poetic that all the dragon drama began with a dude who maybe just wanted to avoid a zombie apocalypse.
The End of a Legend: Aegon’s Final Chapter
No epic duel. No dragon battle. Nope. Aegon Targaryen died in his bed after ruling for 37 years. Peacefully. The kind of ending most Targaryens could only dream of.
He was buried under the Red Keep. Beneath the Iron Throne. Surrounded by stone, steel, and echoes of conquest.
I imagine he’d be proud of the chaos that followed. Or shaking his head going, “Y’all misunderstood the assignment.”
Why I Still Think About Aegon Targaryen While Doing Dishes
Seriously. Every time I’m scrubbing a plate or burning soup (again), I think—this guy forged a continent out of chaos. With dragons. And sibling drama. Meanwhile, I can’t even keep a basil plant alive.
But there’s something about Aegon Targaryen that sticks. Not just the fire and blood. It’s the fact that he dreamed bigger. He believed in unity. Even if it was delivered on dragonback.
Also, he had the guts to admit when he couldn’t win—see: Dorne. That’s rare.
Totally Useless But Fun Facts (You’re Welcome)
- Balerion’s poop probably weighed more than a horse. Just sayin’.
- The Iron Throne gave like, 17 kings back problems. Maybe more. Bad ergonomics.
- According to a fake source (pg. 42 of “Crown & Blister: Tales of Royal Rashes,” 1998), Aegon once got heat rash from wearing too much armor.
